three very funny jokes

It's always the cute guys that will walk up to you with charming eyes, and whisper  to you, "my friend likes you" then he will point at one monkey with big forehead like that of rabbit.


A blind man appeared in court on a murder charge for beating a young man to death....
The judge asked the blind man: What do you have to say in your defense? For I see you have chosen not to have a lawyer.
The blind man replied: Well your Honor, I was walking down the road tapping my cane to guide me when I accidentally tap a young man's foot. The young man shouted in a loud voice, "Blind man if you hit me with that stick again you will see!"
So just like the woman who touched Jesus' robe and was healed, I decided to have faith. So I hit him and hit him and hit him, and up to this day I still can't see.
The judge says: "Case dismissed. You're free to go"


A guy posted on Facebook
   And he blocked me!
My people, did I say anything wrong?

" All ladies are like recharge cards, use them and throw away". And I replied: "Which network is your mum?

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POEM - GONE WITH THE WIND

GONE WITH THE WIND

Oh my love! Where did thou go
I’m searching for you but seems not to find you.
Where has the wind blown you to 
Come to me my love
Let me  feel your warm embrace
Your hands caressing my skin
Me looking into your eyes
And finding peace in thy presence
You have enveloped me with so much feelings
Come let me pour out the love I have for you on you
I wish to wake up with you by my side each morning
Please wind, bring back my love
Come back to me love, please come
My heart beats for your return
My ears seek to hear the sound of your voice
My eyes wishes to behold thee
Come to me love, please come
My hope of ever seeing you is falling down like a dried leave falling from the tree
The sun comes and goes each day yet you have not come to me
Now I know you’ll never be mine
You have gone with the wind.

Nigeria's vice president takes over as the coordinator of Nigeria government.
        Nigeria's President Muhammadu Buhari, due to his ailment wrote a letter to the senate. In his letter he took a permission for medical follow up. The Nigerian president who has been traveling out of the country for quite sometime now over his health issues gave the vice-president Yemi Osinbajo the authority as the coordinator of Nigeria government while he travels to London for treatment and said that the length of his stay will be determined by the advice of the doctors.

India food recipes

•    SAMOSAS
Ingredients
1.    5 cups of flour
2.    8 tbsp. unsalted butter, cubed and chilled
3.    Kosher salt, to taste
4.    1⁄2 cup ice-cold water
5.    1 lb. russet potatoes, peeled and roughly chopped
6.    4 carrots, roughly chopped
7.    3 tablespoon of canola oil
8.    1 teaspoon of cumin seeds
9.    1 small yellow onion, minced
10.    1⁄2 cup frozen peas, defrosted
11.    1⁄2 cup minced cilantro
12.    1⁄2cup minced mint
13.    1⁄2 teaspoon  garam masala
14.    2 small green Thai chiles or 1 serrano, minced
15.    1 (1") piece of ginger, peeled and minced
16.    Tamarind and coconut-cilantro chutneys, for serving (optional)
Procedures
1.    Make the dough - Pulse flour, butter, and salt in a food processor into pea-size crumbles.
2.    Add water; pulse until dough forms. Divide into 12 balls; chill 1 hour.
3.    Make the filling: Boil potatoes and carrots in a 4-qt. saucepan of salted water until tender, 8–10 minutes. Drain; coarsely mash. 
4.    Add 2 tbsp. oil to pan; heat over medium-high. Cook cumin seeds until they pop, 1–2 minutes. 
5.    Add onion and ginger; cook until golden, 4–6 minutes. 
6.    Allow it to cool; stir into potato mixture with peas, cilantro, mint, garam masala, chiles, and salt.
7.    Form and fry samosas: Working with 1 ball at a time
8.    roll dough into a 6" round; cut in half. Gather straight edges of 1 half-round together, overlapping by 1⁄4" to form a cone. Moisten seam with water; press to seal. Spoon 1 tbsp. filling into cone.
9.    Moisten edges of cone with water; pinch to seal. Heat 2" oil in a 6-qt. saucepan until a deep-fry thermometer reads 350°. Fry samosas until crisp, 8–10 minutes. Drain on paper towels; serve with chutneys if you like.

funny story

An English language teacher
in a junior secondary school gave  her students in Jss 1 class homework
saying, "Write a story that ends with,
''And so, she got angry''." The teacher didn't specify the amount of words to be written.
A little girl didn't even go home to write hers, but used only 3 minutes to write it in class after the teacher left.
The next day, all the students
submitted their work. The teacher was smiling while marking because,all the students did well.
     Some were able to write about 400 words and over. When the teacher got to the little girl's own,it read,
''Our teacher gave us homework, but i didn't want to do it, I wrote only two
lines, and so, he got angry''

Which pass mark do you think she deserves?