funny joke

John was at a bar, just staring at his drink on the table.He kept staring at the ↽drink for quite some time.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying, the truck driver says, "come on man, i was just joking. here, i'll buy you another drink. i just cant stand to see a man cry".
"No, it's not that... this day is the worst day of my life. first, i fall asleep, and i went late to my office. my boss outrageously, fires me. when i leave the building, to my car, i found out it was stolen. the police said that they can do nothing. i get a cab to return home, and when i leave it, i remembered i left my wallet and credit cards there.. the cap driver just drives away."
i go home, and when i get there, i find my wife in bed with the gardener. i left home, and come to this bar. And just when i was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drank my poison.

How to prepare gulab jamun - India dish

INDIAN DISH
•    GULAB JAMUN
Ingredients
1.      2  cups of  dry powdered milk
2.       5 tablespoons  flour
3.        4 tablespoons ghee (clarified butter), melted
4.        1 teaspoon of baking powder
5.        1 cup of warm milk
6.        2 tablespoon chopped almonds (if you like)
7.        A pinch of ground cardamom
8.        1 quart vegetable oil for deep frying
9.        1 1/4 cups white sugar
10.        7 fluid ounces water
11.        1 teaspoon of rose water
Procedures
1.    Mix water, sugar and ground cardamoms together
2.    Mix the flour, milk powder and soda together
3.    Add ghee and  then mix it very well
4.    Make 18 to 20 equal sized balls and heat up the pan with ghee or oil
5.    Add the balls when the ghee is just medium hot
6.    Then Fry the balls until golden stirring uniformly.
7.    Add them to the hot syrup.

Little Johnny prays a funny prayer At dinner, ...

Little Johnny prays a funny prayer
At
dinner, ...
    Little Johnny was ordered to lead in prayer...:
Johnny: But i dont know how to
pray.
DAD: Just pray for your family
members, friends and
neighbours, the poor, etc
JOHNNY
he started
Thank u for our visitors and
their children, who finished all my cookies and ice
cream.
Bless them so they won't come
again.
Forgive our neighbour's
son, who always remove
my sister's clothes and wrestle with her on her
bed.
This coming Christmas, please
send clothes to all
those poor naked ladies on my daddy's Blackberry!
...and also provide shelter for the homeless men who use
mom's
room when daddy is at work!
°°°AMEN°°°°
………Dinner was cancelled!

MATCH SCORES

PREMIER LEAGUE

Sunday 07/05/2017

ARSENAL  2 - 0 MAN.UTD

LIVERPOOL 0 - 0 SOUTHAMPTON

SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP

HEARTS 1 - 2 ABERDEEN

learn how to cook calabar soup - edikan ikon soup

•    EDIKAN IKON SOUP (CALABAR)
Ingredients
1.    Stock fish – 150g
2.    Beef – 250g
3.    Dried fish – 250g
4.    Kpomo – 100g
5.    Fresh pepper – 10 seeds
6.    Pumpkin leave – 2 kg
7.    Water leaf – 1 kg
8.    Onions – 1 bulb
9.    Palm oil – 2 desert spoon
10.    Crayfish – 20g
11.    Seasoning – 2 cubes
12.    Salt
Procedure
1.    Cut beef, season and boil
2.    Add stock fish and wash kpomo, cut into small pieces
3.    Add dried fish
4.    Cut the leaves into tiny piece
5.    Add little water if possible e.g 1 cup
6.    Add the ground pepper, onions and crayfish
7.    Add all the vegetables
8.    Add the palm oil
9.    Add little salt and seasoning
10.    Allow to Simmer for about 5 minutes
11.    Serve with pounded yam, fufu or eba

Joke- conversation between dad & son

Dad: who do you like more, Dad or Mum?
Child : Both
Dad: Ok, if I go to America & your Mum goes to Paris, where will you go?
Child: Paris...
Dad: that means U like ur Mum more?
Child: No, that means I like Paris.
Dad: Ok, if I go to Paris & your Mum goes to America, where will U go?
Child: America
Dad: (Angry) why!?
Child: well, bcos I've been to Paris before.
Dad: (Angry) when did U go to Paris?
Child: In the first question U asked...

How to prepare Indian dishes

•    PRAWN CURRY
Ingredients
1.    Fresh prawn, 15 to 20 large size
2.    Onions – 3 bulbs
3.    Garlic – 3 cloves
4.    Groundnut oil – 1 large spoon
5.    Curry powder – 1 large spoon
6.    Tomatoes
7.    Water – half cup
8.    Stock or coconut milk
9.    Salt
Procedure
1.    Shell and clean prawn
2.    Chop up onions and garlic
3.    Fry the chopped onions and garlic until brown
4.    Add curry powder and fry until brown
5.    Add salt, tomatoes, the water or stock and the prawn
6.    Boil gently for 15 – 20 minutes.