HAJ GLOBAL BLOG

It's always the cute guys that will walk up to you with charming eyes, and whisper  to you, "my friend likes you" then he will point at one monkey with big forehead like that of rabbit. A blind man appeared in court on a murder charge for beating a young man to death.... The judge asked the blind man: What do you have to say in your defense? For I see you have chosen not to have a lawyer. The blind man replied: Well your Honor, I was walking down the road tapping my cane to guide me when I accidentally tap a young man's foot. The young man shouted in a loud voice, "Blind man if you hit me with that stick again you will see!" So just like the woman who touched Jesus' robe and was healed, I decided to have faith. So I hit him and hit him and hit him, and up to this day I still can't see. The judge says: "Case dismissed. You're free to go" A guy posted on Facebook    And he blocked me! My people, did I say anything wrong?...

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GONE WITH THE WIND Oh my love! Where did thou go I’m searching for you but seems not to find you. Where has the wind blown you to  Come to me my love Let me  feel your warm embrace Your hands caressing my skin Me looking into your eyes And finding peace in thy presence You have enveloped me with so much feelings Come let me pour out the love I have for you on you I wish to wake up with you by my side each morning Please wind, bring back my love Come back to me love, please come My heart beats for your return My ears seek to hear the sound of your voice My eyes wishes to behold thee Come to me love, please come My hope of ever seeing you is falling down like a dried leave falling from the tree The sun comes and goes each day yet you have not come to me Now I know you’ll never be mine You have gone with the wind.

Nigeria's vice president takes over as the coordinator of Nigeria government.         Nigeria's President Muhammadu Buhari, due to his ailment wrote a letter to the senate. In his letter he took a permission for medical follow up. The Nigerian president who has been traveling out of the country for quite sometime now over his health issues gave the vice-president Y emi Osinbajo the authority as the coordinator of Nigeria government while he travels to London for treatment and said that the length of his stay will be determined by the advice of the doctors.

•    SAMOSAS Ingredients 1.    5 cups of flour 2.    8 tbsp. unsalted butter, cubed and chilled 3.    Kosher salt, to taste 4.    1⁄2 cup ice-cold water 5.    1 lb. russet potatoes, peeled and roughly chopped 6.    4 carrots, roughly chopped 7.    3 tablespoon of canola oil 8.    1 teaspoon of cumin seeds 9.    1 small yellow onion, minced 10.    1⁄2 cup frozen peas, defrosted 11.    1⁄2 cup minced cilantro 12.    1⁄2cup minced mint 13.    1⁄2 teaspoon  garam masala 14.    2 small green Thai chiles or 1 serrano, minced 15.    1 (1") piece of ginger, peeled and minced 16.    Tamarind and coconut-cilantro chutneys, for serving (optional) Procedures 1.    Make the dough - Pulse flour, butter, and salt in a food process...

An English language teacher in a junior secondary school gave  her students in Jss 1 class homework saying, "Write a story that ends with, ''And so, she got angry''." The teacher didn't specify the amount of words to be written. A little girl didn't even go home to write hers, but used only 3 minutes to write it in class after the teacher left. The next day, all the students submitted their work. The teacher was smiling while marking because,all the students did well.      Some were able to write about 400 words and over. When the teacher got to the little girl's own,it read, ''Our teacher gave us homework, but i didn't want to do it, I wrote only two lines, and so, he got angry'' Which pass mark do you think she deserves?

The dolphin who was about two metres in length and weighing over a hundred kilogram was found on the beach in a village in south China on Sunday. The dolphin had an injury on it's skin .The skin infection had symptoms of dehydration.         The local residence that found the dolphin called the police to help it back in the sea. To avoid hurting the dolphin the militants and the police men pushed it slowly into the sea.         The local fishing farming department offered expert advice. They carried the injured dolphin to a nearby place and treated its wound before putting it back to the sea.

John was at a bar, just staring at his drink on the table.He kept staring at the ↽drink for quite some time. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying, the truck driver says, "come on man, i was just joking. here, i'll buy you another drink. i just cant stand to see a man cry". "No, it's not that... this day is the worst day of my life. first, i fall asleep, and i went late to my office. my boss outrageously, fires me. when i leave the building, to my car, i found out it was stolen. the police said that they can do nothing. i get a cab to return home, and when i leave it, i remembered i left my wallet and credit cards there.. the cap driver just drives away." i go home, and when i get there, i find my wife in bed with the gardener. i left home, and come to this bar. And just when i was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drank my po...

INDIAN DISH •    GULAB JAMUN Ingredients 1.      2  cups of  dry powdered milk 2.       5 tablespoons  flour 3.        4 tablespoons ghee (clarified butter), melted 4.        1 teaspoon of baking powder 5.        1 cup of warm milk 6.        2 tablespoon chopped almonds (if you like) 7.        A pinch of ground cardamom 8.        1 quart vegetable oil for deep frying 9.        1 1/4 cups white sugar 10.        7 fluid ounces water 11.        1 teaspoon of rose water Procedures 1.    Mix water, sugar and ground cardamoms together 2.    Mix the flour, milk powder and soda together 3.    Add ghee and  ...

Little Johnny prays a funny prayer At dinner, ...     Little Johnny was ordered to lead in prayer...: Johnny: But i dont know how to pray. DAD: Just pray for your family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc JOHNNY he started Thank u for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won't come again. Forgive our neighbour's son, who always remove my sister's clothes and wrestle with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy's Blackberry! ...and also provide shelter for the homeless men who use mom's room when daddy is at work! °°°AMEN°°°° ………Dinner was cancelled!

PREMIER LEAGUE Sunday 07/05/2017 ARSENAL  2 - 0 MAN.UTD LIVERPOOL 0 - 0 SOUTHAMPTON SCOTTISH PREMIERSHIP HEARTS 1 - 2 ABERDEEN

•    EDIKAN IKON SOUP (CALABAR) Ingredients 1.    Stock fish – 150g 2.    Beef – 250g 3.    Dried fish – 250g 4.    Kpomo – 100g 5.    Fresh pepper – 10 seeds 6.    Pumpkin leave – 2 kg 7.    Water leaf – 1 kg 8.    Onions – 1 bulb 9.    Palm oil – 2 desert spoon 10.    Crayfish – 20g 11.    Seasoning – 2 cubes 12.    Salt Procedure 1.    Cut beef, season and boil 2.    Add stock fish and wash kpomo, cut into small pieces 3.    Add dried fish 4.    Cut the leaves into tiny piece 5.    Add little water if possible e.g 1 cup 6.    Add the ground pepper, onions and crayfish 7.    Add all the vegetables 8.    Add the palm oil 9.    Add little salt and seasoning 10....

Dad: who do you like more, Dad or Mum? Child : Both Dad: Ok, if I go to America & your Mum goes to Paris, where will you go? Child: Paris... Dad: that means U like ur Mum more? Child: No, that means I like Paris. Dad: Ok, if I go to Paris & your Mum goes to America, where will U go? Child: America Dad: (Angry) why!? Child: well, bcos I've been to Paris before. Dad: (Angry) when did U go to Paris? Child: In the first question U asked...

•    PRAWN CURRY Ingredients 1.    Fresh prawn, 15 to 20 large size 2.    Onions – 3 bulbs 3.    Garlic – 3 cloves 4.    Groundnut oil – 1 large spoon 5.    Curry powder – 1 large spoon 6.    Tomatoes 7.    Water – half cup 8.    Stock or coconut milk 9.    Salt Procedure 1.    Shell and clean prawn 2.    Chop up onions and garlic 3.    Fry the chopped onions and garlic until brown 4.    Add curry powder and fry until brown 5.    Add salt, tomatoes, the water or stock and the prawn 6.    Boil gently for 15 – 20 minutes.